Sunday, October 23, 2016

There are spiders crawling around your bed with you

Apparently throughout America there are spiders sleeping in our beds on a nightly basis.

It seems people figure any bite or sore with an unknown origin is automatically a spider bite and requires a trip to the local emergency room.  I wish I had a nickel  for every person who showed me a bite and  said "I think it's a spider bite".  I'd be a rich woman.

Don't even try to challenge that maybe this isn't a spider bite. The patient is always confident that this is indeed a spider bite and you are foolish to think otherwise. Their auntie told them so.

Out of the thousands of different kinds of spiders in the world, very few would bite humans, and even fewer of them are harmful. They are just trying to get through their day as a spider. Thinking about having to spin that damn web, whether any juicy insects will get caught today..

Have you ever heard that you are never more than 6 feet away from a spider?  There is one on the other side of your husband right now and they are sizing you up for dinner right now....

Saturday, October 22, 2016

The most likely to score a percocet script drug seeker

Is it just me or is everyday just an endless parade of drug seekers?  In all their different forms.

Maybe instead of betting on the drunks alcohol level, we should bet on which drug seeker makes a score.

Here is a synopsis of the "Most likely to score a percocet script drug seeker".

1) White

2) Woman

3) Dressed normal (no cleavage, short shorts)

4)  Educated

5) Apologetic

6) Polite

7) Accompanied by concerned male (preferably husband) version of 1,3,4

Other factors:

1) Is doctor in bad mood?

2) Is doctor busy?

3) Is doctor tired?

And there you have it folks, "the most likely to score percocet drug seeker" in a nutshell.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

STD rates are soaring

I started as a nurse in 1985. It was at the height of AIDS hysteria. Back then we would wear a space suit into rooms of patients with AIDS:  gowns, goves, masks. Everyone was scared to death. Nurses quit nursing because of the fear. It was an awful time. Taking care of patients dying of AIDS was brutal, watching mostly young men suffer was awful.

Then as time went on and we became more educated, things changed. At this point it is a rare occurrence to care for someone with AIDS. We still see people with HIV but it has become a chronic illness, rather than a death sentence, with treatment.

Why the change? People stopped having unprotected sex. Now we seem to have entered an era when this generation, who never saw the devastation of the AIDS epidemic, are having unprotected sex once again. STD rates are soaring.

Last year there were 1.5 million cases of chlamydia.  Two thirds of the cases were women aged 15 to 24. Chlamydia can go undetected causing infertility. There were over almost 400,000 cases of gonorrhea last year. The majority were men who have sex with men. The problem is gonorrhea has become harder to treat because antibiotics are becoming resistant. Syphilis cases are also increasing.

Bottom line? People aren't using condoms. They are not being educated. Another problem is health clinics are being closed. Planned parenthood funding is being cut. Funding for clinics and education must be a priority. Education should start in the emergency room. I wish we could have a supply of condoms.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Sex brought me to the ER

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, I see an advertisement for a new ER reality show: "Sex sent me to the ER" on a cable channel coming this month to a TV near you. No doubt this will be a real laughfest...

I've been in the ER a long time and I have, for the most part, missed out on sexual shenanigans that brought patients in, although I have heard stories from my co workers. Mostly along the line of somebody put something up their butt and they can't get it out and oh by the way, its still buzzing for everyone to hear.  People getting stuff stuck on their johnson and it has to be cut off.

Hearing these stories amuses us, but seriously ya heard one of these you heard 'em all.  Whatever. Mostly we just look at people in these situations as stupid.

This is brought to you by the same people who do the show "Untold stories of the ER".  They contacted me once and encouraged me to send in an unusual story.  The kicker is they want you to be on the show to be part of the story. thanks.  So I'm wondering will that be the case with this show?  Will the doc or nurse be on the show?